Pie Crust

This here is your standard-issue recipe for a double-crust pie. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My pie crust is my best friend. Without it I am useless. Without me, it is useless. This is my double-crust pie recipe.

Ingredients:

2/3 cup shortening (regular Crisco works best here, don't try butter because it doesn't come out quite right somehow)

2 cups flour

3-4 tbsp ice cold water

Tools:

A big bowl

Saran wrap

Cut up the shortening into little cubes (this is much easier if you buy the stick-format Crisco). Put them in a bowl with the flour, and rub the flour and shortening between your palms until you have a bowl of flour-shortening particles the size of small peas. Your hands will probably be a mess. Take the ice cold water (very important that it's ice cold) and add it one tbsp at a time to the particles and knead well with your hands until it forms a nice smooth dough (it should be sticky enough to pull off all the flour-shortening smegma you have on your hands while you're working it into a nice ball). If the dough is a little too crumbly, add more ice water. If it's a little to sticky, add a little flour and knead well. Form two neat equal sized dough balls, saran wrap them, and put them in the fridge for an hour to firm up for use in a pie. Heh heh, I said "smegma, balls, and pie" all in one paragraph. Did you catch all that?