Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ

Do you know how hard it is to find an Asian grocery store in Tucson? There are no Asians there. Okay, I lied, there's maybe enough of them to compete in 2 beauty pageants (as indicated by the flyers for two separate events I found whilst cruising around the area, but even then, there could be some contestant overlap). Anyway, this is a recipe hacked together from a recipe given to me by my mother (who originally acquired it from my Singaporean grandmother). If you are ballsy enough to use this recipe for the first time while you are trying to impress someone important, rest assured that the recipe as I've written it is almost tard-proof and may even increase your chances of getting laid as long as you don't spill curry shit everywhere and clean up the one cutting board and pan you use.

Ingredients:

2-3 tsp curry powder (available in the curry section of most Asian grocery stores. Look for containers that say "Product of Malaysia" - those usually have the right spice blend)

3 large boneless skinless chicken breasts (or 2 and some thighs if that's what you have)

2 medium tomatoes

2/3 of a sweet onion

2-3 cloves of garlic

1 bay leaf

3 stalks of lemongrass

1 can coconut milk

2 tbsp vegetable oil (peanut oil, or whatever you have lying around the house that isn't olive oil will work just fine)

deep fried tofu cubes (dofu pok) or a large potato (some people would say this substitution is a crime against humanity, but when times are tough...)

salt to taste

Optional: jasmine rice (to serve with the curry)

Tools:

1 big ass knife

1 2-3" deep pan with a lid or a saucepan

kitchen scissors

Hack up the chicken into manageable chunks. Dice the tomatoes and the onion (if your onion is small or if you like onions, go ahead and use the whole thing, even though the recipe proportion is best with 2/3 of an onion... saving that last 1/3 is a pain in the ass). Mince up the garlic. Heat up the oil in the pan. Toss the chicken pieces, garlic, and curry powder in the pan and fry for a minute. Chuck in the tomato and the onion and continue to fry for several more minutes until the chicken is mostly cooked through and the curry powder is nice and fragrant. If you like things spicier (or you find that the curry powder container lied when it said "hot"), add some more in the pan as desired. Stir up the can of coconut milk so that the coconut fat is all mixed in with the milk. Pour it into the pan and mix so that everything turns a nice curry-color. Turn the heat down to extra-low and cover. Take the lemongrass and cut off the tops such that you have about a 3 or 4 inch portion of the bottom stem remaining. It looks like a waste, but the flavor really only is in the bottom couple of inches of the lemongrass anyways. Toss that into the pan and bury it under the ingredients and coconut milk. Add the bay leaf and some salt to taste, and simmer on extra-low heat for 40 minutes. At the 40 minute mark, go ahead and start making the jasmine rice you'll be serving with the curry (don't ask me about water-to-rice proportions, the last time I made this, I let someone else make the rice and it turned out absolutely perfect. Surprise! Turns out that white guys make rice way better than me). Once you get the rice cooker started, take your deep fried tofu cubes, snip them in half with your kitchen scissors so the spongy insides are exposed, and pop them in the pan with the simmering curry to thicken it (if you live in Tucson and have to settle for a potato, peel the potato, cut it into cubes, and put those in the curry). Let it all cook for another 10 to 15 minutes (if you use the potato as your guide, cook it long enough so that the potato isn't raw). Serve over the jasmine rice and make sure to warn whoever else you're serving not to eat the lemongrass. Yay! You're done. Bask in the glory of your culinary prowess.