Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce

Contrary to the recipe title, this is actually a delicious homemade red sauce that's pretty much good for use in generally ever eye-talian recipe that calls for tomato sauce. But listen, it's from Tom's mom, and I had to spend an hour on the phone listening to her ramble on about how she was irritated with her son in order to get it, so it's Ghettalian. There you go. *Insert Tom's Mom joke here*

Ingredients:

1 large can of Kitchen-Ready canned tomatoes ("the one with the yellow label!" says Tom's mom)

1 can of Hunt's tomato paste

1 onion

1/2 to 3/4 cup water

1 tbsp garlic

2 tbsp olive oil

1 tbsp sugar

salt (to taste)

pepper (to taste)

basil (to taste)

oregano (to taste)

red wine vinegar (to taste)

The last 5 ingredients on this list are written "to taste" because when's the last time you were able to get an exact spaghetti sauce recipe from someone who was drunk? Besides, it's tomato sauce - so everyone's taste differs anyway. Slop in the spices the way you like it.

Okay, so just in case people don't understand the concept of "making red sauce" from prepared tomatoes, let's go over the basic steps. First, heat up the olive oil in the pan, then chop up the onion and toss it in. Fry until it's fragrant, then toss in the garlic, fry a little more, then pour in the canned tomatoes. Mix the can of tomato paste with the water, then pour that into the pot. Let it simmer for 2 hours. Then stir in the sugar (add a little more if the sauce is still too tart), and the rest of the spices to taste. Voila. Heavenly ghettalian spaghetti sauce. Optionally, you could add some sausage to the mix in the first frying step (mmm yeah, baby, it's a sausagefest).