LongestRoadBesterest 1 1
And so, the party visited That Old Man, an old hut. Inside the hut it was much larger than usual. There was a large floating cube Wynello wanted to smash but Jerrydoo smelled danger and ran for help. He found That Old Man. Destinee flashed her eyelids in his general vicinity.
"Don't touch the cube, there's a maze inside." That Old Man said. "I um...a few people got stuck in it." Wynello laughed. "Man, how dumb do ya have to be to fall for that?" Judas shrugged "as dumb as those other people?" Everyone laughed at the incredibly funny joke. Destinee thought about ravishing Judas later that night.
It took quite some time, but That Old Man finally stopped laughing. "OK, OK. This is important. I need you to go to the underground caverns and speak to a man there. He wants you to find something for him." Judas frowned (although you couldn't see it behind his helmet) "Aw man, a fetchquest." Wynello screamed "YOU THINK I'M GONNA GO ON A F'UCKING FETCH QUEST!"
(pause)
"OK, I'll go."
And thus, the Besterest visitied a city of drow who lived near the caverns. Destinee told great tales in her efforts to discover her long lost father who abandoned her during a war between good and evil where he discovered Super Dragon 4 and used da spirit bomb to destroy Burnaad The Destroyer who used Elementitis (which is like magic but stronger) to kill 90% of Oerth's population in one fell swoop but with the power of love her father used the ancient sword (bigger than a castle mind you) to use the Elementitis Counter to destroy Burnaad The Destroyer but Oerth was about to explode so he died FOREVER but Destinee knows he's still alive somewhere.
Destinee also tried to ravish Judas that night. "OMG NO I can't!" Judas ran to his inn room and locked the door. Destinee knew his fears had to have resulted from The Incident. She would heal his heart and then his body. Maybe at the same time. Meanwhile Lovure convinced many drow priestesses of the virtues of death. And the virtues of life. While in his room. Having sex with him. They were quite easily converted.
The next morning the group headed to the caverns. It was in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. Lovure pulled out a map (one of his new converts gave it to him) and they found the lair. Which was empty, that's odd. "Maybe it's a false wall. Lemme poke my sword against it and see if it makes the other sword noise." Judas knocked the wall repeatedly. Jerrydoo took a whiff of something and hid in a corner. "ZOINKS now you did it!" The wall rumbled and slid away. A red dragon's head appeared from the fake wall. It was a disguise.
