Litterbox Cake

Mmm... poo sand

The poo-box cake is almost as good as the Krapp Flambe in terms of authenticity and taste. I've been meaning to make it for dessert next time Tom's mom makes her infamous "catloaf" (a meatloaf shaped like a cat). Recipe taken directly from fabulousfoods.com. And thanks to no fewer than 25 people who sent me this exact same link saying "saw this and thought of you." Just so you know, yes, I got it. Thanks. Yeah.

Ingredients:

1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix (anything with that nice tan color)

1 box white cake mix

2 large packages instant vanilla pudding mix (prepared)

1 large package of vanilla sandwich cookies

a few drops green or blue food coloring

12 small tootsie rolls

Tools:

Food processor

Baking pans

1 big mixing bowl

1 nice clean litter box

1 litter box liner

1 new litter box scoop

First and foremost, it's really best to serve this in an all-new litterbox or pan since it's not like you can autoclave an old one. Unless, of course, you're making this for someone you just don't like, in which case I don't really suggest making it at all since you'd only be wasting a truly delectable masterpiece. Moving along...

First, prepare the two boxes of cake mix according to the directions on the box. Doesn't matter what kind of pan you bake them in, since once they're done, you're going to coarsely crumble them into a large mixing bowl. While your cakes are baking, crumble the white sandwich cookies in small batches into the food processor and turn them into a litter-like consistency. Reserve all but 1/4 cup of cookie crumbs. To this 1/4 cup, add a few drops of food coloring and process until a uniform light-green color (resembling odor-neutralizing crystals in the clumping-style Fresh Step).

In the bowl of crumbled cake, add half of the uncolored cookie crumbs and just enough of the chilled vanilla pudding to moisten everything so that it holds together, and mix gently. Slop this into the litterbox with the pan liner. Sprinkle the remaining colored and uncolored cookie crumbs on top of the pan to tastefully resemble poo-sand.

In the microwave, heat up Tootsie rolls and heat until soft and pliable (try 10 to 15 seconds at a time). Sculpt masterfully into pointy little logs and arrange artfully in the litterbox - making sure that some are embedded into the cake, and others partially covered by poo-sand. For extra realism (or if you're imitating Blackberry's turd-burgling habits), drape a single turd over the side of the box. Serve to guests with new litter box scoop.