Bad Quotes

• "Dangly bits are there to be molested." - Ratri "Can I have my dangly bits molested?" - Morrigu
• "I like penises. They make me smile." - RedCat
• "You're not putting anything strawberry inside of me." - Aurora
• "If your last words are 'This poison tastes funny' chances are your days were numbered few from the beginning." - Darklocke
• "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordian. All you leave behind is a lot of noisy baggage."
• "I believe that many things can't be explained. UFOs, ghosts, Backstreet Boys." - Soulkeeper
• "How can you not love something that runs around shitting magic balls?" - Kit
• "As soon as the fish levels, I'm switching to Monica." - Aurora
• "And now the crack has hit the fan." - Aurora
• "Jeez, when did Koenma's balls drop?" - Aurora
• "Puppy, can we have sex?" - Aurora "No." - Nybble "Then can I have a glass of water?" - Aurora "Ok." - Nybble
• "Tan lines are like closed captioning for the sexually impaired." - Zak
• "If you corrupt something good, it becomes evil. If you corrupt something lame, does it become cool?" - Aurora "I don't know. I can corrupt a Windows drive and it's still stupid." - Mike
• "It's like Schroedinger's Penis!" - Aurora
• "Of course for it to be statistically viable we will need many subjects. Sinic! Stand up and drop your pants. It's for science." - Rykilde, holding a scale.
• "I heal too well. My hymen exists in a state of quantum uncertainty, until I get fucked or masturbate." - Rykilde "It's like Schroedinger's cat--or pussy." - Zahnnie
• "Puppy, make me some food!" - Aurora "Poof, you're some food!" - Nybble "Yay!" - Aurora
• "Ooh Ooh can I be the official boobie inspector of Utter Chaos?" - Rykilde "Yes, you can." - Aurora "Dude, REALLY? Awesome! Boobies!" - Rykilde
• "Did you like the soup we had yesterday? Because there are two slices left." - Rykilde
• "If you can think of any, feel free to put them in." - Aurora "Aurora said put them in." - Ratri
• "Puppy, why don't you ever give it to Aurora rough?" - Zahnnie "I'm building a kernel right now!" - Nybble, indignantly.
• "So, should I call it Utter Chaos plus plus, or UC plus plus?" - Nybble "Either way, we can abbreviate it UCPP. Heh. You see peepee." - Zahnnie. Much laughter ensues. "We're so juvenile. Good job, me." - Zahnnie pats herself on the back.
• "Anuses are only for the specially gifted." -Ben
• "She's like PayPal, but more user-friendly." - Rykilde
• "For a straight Marine and a gay Canadian, they sure are a lot alike." - Aurora
• "If you're fucking someone in the park, it doesn't really matter precisely which hole you're screwing them in." - Ratri
• "I'm all for that idea. I'm all about making boys' heads explode." - Rykilde
• "Help, help!" - Q. "Oh, c'mon Q. You've got two cute women snuggling you intimately." - Rykilde. "But they're all oily! And this was my favorite shirt, dammit." - Q.
• "I don't know how he got that much life." - Aurora. "Because you have a pwnagraph. P-W-N-A-G-R-A-P-H." - Ratri.
• "Nobody likes your penix, Aurora. I think you should whip it out more." - Ratri
• "Poncy elf boys are not metal." - Morrigu
• "Yay! I put stuff in my wiki!" - Rykilde "Oh my..." - Morrigu, waggling his eyebrows.
• "Tool of a Fook!" - Aurora, spoonerisming Gandalf.
• "It's like staking a vampire with a 2x4..." - Morrigu
• "You're an object. I can touch you. However, you're a special subclass of object. You have developer-friendly interfaces." - Nybble "Developer friendly interfaces? But I ..." - Aurora
• "Why do they want to put a ramming point on top of the Christmas Tree?" - Ratri "Well, when Christmas is over, we chop off the branches..." - Morrigu "And joust with the neighbors!" - Ratri
• "There's an old locker room saying: Long and thin will get it in, but short and thick will do the trick." - Morrigu "Ah, but then we have, long and thick, the perfect dick." -Zahnnie
• "But it's so big, how did you fit the whole thing up there?" - Rykilde
• "I think I remember that shaft!" - Kim
• "I'm sorry my dick hit your face" - Ben
• "Get your dick off my head!" - Rykilde "Actually, that's my dick. " - Ratri
• "2.9 pounds" -Nybble "You could huck it at people... It's my Mac-a-rang!" -Chadius
• "Oh god, don't rub it! If you love me, don't rub it!" - Zahnnie
• "Have I told you about my five-point exploding fish technique?" - Toh
• "You guys tell me when I do something annoying, right?" - Rykilde. "Sure. That's why we say things like "Rykilde, your stuff's in the dryer again." - Ratri. "... SHIT!" - Rykilde, remembering her laundry.
• "It is ok to plug a an air conditioner into a heavy duty extension cord if that cord is plugged directly into the wall." - Morrigu. "I prefer to plug it into an electrical socket." - Ratri
• "Ah fuck. Well, I guess I'll go with my other solution: beating the crap out of it." - Aurora
• "I can take it two different ways, because I'm a monk." - Aurora
• "In Australia, the sheep outnumber the people." - Zahnnie. "I like those odds." - Aurora. "Aurora!" - Zahnnie. "... is what a dirty pervert would say!" - Aurora.
• "Oooh, do you want to get some?" -Toh, to Zahnnie
• "What is it?" -Rykilde. "I just put it in." -Erik. "That's going up." -Ratri.
• "One does not go spelunking in my vagina!" -Rykilde
• "I don't want to play the Sims." -Aurora
• "It's the difference between having balls the size of oranges and doing rather well in life...and having balls the size of pineapples, and taking it up the ass from a double-barreled shotgun." -Ratri and Rykilde, on presenteeism
• "When you have a thousand midgets, you just can't lose!" -Aurora.
• "Guys, I think we're those annoying drunk people!" - Zahnnie
• "It makes it hurt right here ..." - Rykilde rubs the bottom of her jaw. "Like when you've been going down on a guy too long."
• "Darth Calculon!" - Aurora and Ratri start talking like Vader. "Kkkkssshhh. I have ... Kchoooo ... Amnesia. Noooooooo!"
• Vroom of loud motorcycles goes by. "Oh my god, Aurora, did you hear that penis go by?" - Ratri.
• "I like small, fast Japanese penises." - Ratri.
• "That's what goes on my ass -- not on my box!" - Rykilde.
• "It's like a ballet where the last two moves are always to shake the blood off, and put it back in." - Phil
• "Then there's always 'explosive diahrrea'. That one's great." - Zahnnie "I prefer 'anal leakage'!" - Caryatid, very cutely
• "RYKILDE DOESN'T GET IT!" -Ratri "What?! What don't I get?!" -Rykilde
• "I'm going back to my room. Anyone else who wants to come is welcome to." -Nybble "I'm afraid of Aurora." -Kit "She will slash you to death with her shiny new diamond. FEAR THE WRATH OF THE ENGAGEMENT RING!" -Rykilde and Ratri, in perfect unison.
• "Aww, Aurora, now you have +2 to Brawl!" - Rykilde (I think she said it first...)
• "See, you're going with this whole anal sex thing, but I've got this rhythm method going..." - Caryatid, on knitting, not contraception.
• "Don't do that to my mushroom!" - Symmetry, on the stretchy mushrooms in the new Zelda game, and whether or not they were similar in appearance to an aspect of his anatomy.
• "You...seem to be gripping my husband's rod." - Ratri, to Aurora and Rykilde
• "It's the tongue that makes it." - RedCat
• "I have a file menu." - RedCat, cuddling her laptop.
• "Pigs!" - Limor. "in a blanket!" - Nybble. "Trigger!" - Limor. "Happy!" - Nybble. "Normal!" - Limor. "View!" - Nybble, making random completions on what Limor was saying to the oscilloscope. "Stop it now I mean it!" - Daniel. "Anybody want a peanut?" - Nybble.
• "And then you can have a little sign in front of the monster that says 'your dick must be this high to pass.'" - Ratri.
• "Why did I reach around the wrong way?" - Ratri. "Because your left hand was busy." - Nybble.
• "I'm not looking, I'm not looking! Take it out!" - Rykilde. "I squirted all over a bed once." - Nybble. (In reference to blood.)
• "Yes, I am terribly offended by having large succulent breasts thrust into my face." - Rykilde. "Oh, I would be!... Uh, wait..." - Nybble.
• "If it's a pain in the ass, you've got the tampon in the wrong hole!" - Ratri and Aurora, in unison
• "Hampster Jesus died for our cheese!" Morrigu, inspired by the Buffy episode "Earshot" and discussion thereafter
• "It's like DBZ," - Nybble. "You mean how they keep upping the ante?" - Aurora. "Except there're no blatent power levels. She doesn't go 'Super Buffy 5!'" - Nybble.
• "'Cause HIV is so cute and cuddly!" - Rykilde
• "We have a garlic roaster?" - Rykilde. "Yeah, it's up on a high shelf so you've probably never seen it." - Aurora, who is equally short.
• "If Morrigu puts that on the wiki, I'll kill him." - Ratri
• "Oh, so you have to push it a bunch of times to get it to go up." -Symmetry
• "Usually you just hold it down and it goes up." -Symmetry
• "Is there a bra on my head?" -Nybble
• "I have loads of platelets now!" -Zahnnie. "That's nice. I don't want them all over my floor." -Aurora.
• "Do they make cock rings of 'stop seed'?" -Nybble
• "And I posted the fish to reuse." -Rykilde
• "I scored equally on Uhura and Spock?!" -Rykilde
• "We ought to put something about Mordock up there." -Aurora. "Yeah, is he more dick, or more cock?" -Ratri.
• "Hey, we can go faster if we both do it." -Ardonite
• "I'm sorry -- I've got to bleach my panties." -Nybble
• "Damn you and your creative GUI-ness!" -Ratri shaking her fist at Nybble
• "Someone found a bug in the crack of Dawn?" - Nybble, after watching House.
• "You don't use a pistol to shoot a major land mass. For that you need my grenade launcher." -DevanWalsh
• "She makes me give it to her sometimes." - Nybble
• "I was just thinking about really skinny girls getting it in the butt." - Red Cat
• "Why do all our dinner conversations involve priapism?" - Red Cat
• "'Cause, man, head cancer isn't funny!" -Ratri
• "I didn't know about the shaft access at the bottom." -Nybble, via e-mail.
• "It's PMC chocolate. I'd be supporting cancer ... research." -Ratri
• "Oh Noes. Teh burning children!" -Zahnnie, Rykilde, and Ms. Badger.
• "Cat vasectomies are funny to me." -Zahnnie
• "Is there any advantage to a three-state transistor?" - Nybble. "Maybe." - Ratri.
• "Mom can you pick me up? They kicked me out of the car because I puked in it. But at least it smelled like watermelon." - Aurora (quote added by Nybble from Kurama's back seat)
• "But I remembered just enough of the shopping chapter!" - Rykilde
• "It's right in my head, but wrong in my mouth!" - Nybble
• "Can't a man suck at a part, and be proud of it?" - Ardonite
• "'Cause hand cancer is funny." - Ratri
• "Your mom is funny!" - Ratri
• "There is just something funny about Chibi Nazis." - Ratri
• "So what if they say 'Dad, you fucking pwn!' -- is that okay?" - Aurora
• "Unspecified manual cancer of the hand." - Aurora
• "That was the funniest steak I ever heard." - Ratri
• "You see, I need to wank this before my Wii comes." - Nybble
• "I can milk myself." -RedCat
• "Do you want to put this in?" - Aurora. "I need to reach around first." - Nybble
• "What's a synonym for Domino's?" -Aurora. "I was actually thinking about Pizza Hut. Pizza Puddle? There's already a Pizza Pagoda." -Ratri. "... Pizza Gazebo!" - Aurora and Ratri in unison.
• "I like to sit on daddy's wing-wang." - Zahnnie, for Pixel.
• "What the friggin butt!" - Nybble, playing TP
• "So, I'm thinking of dyeing my underdress." - Ratri. "Dying good!" Kit
• "Hmm, I can't remember if it was 'dying is good' or 'dying is fun'." - Ratri. "I think it was just 'Dying good!' There was no verb in there. Hey wait...why am I helping you??" - Kit
• "Ribs for black people are like turkey for white people. You eat it, you love it, and then you fall asleep." - Chadius
• "I brought Chadius, for extra muscle...because I just can't manhandle that rack by myself." - Morrigu
• "I'm very impressed by the size of your penis, by the way. Just so you know." - Ratri. "I did not quite expect it to be quite this big." - Nybble.
• "Yes. I don't really have a rack though. Just a penis." - Nybble
• "Are you doing anything tonight?" - Aurora. "Uh...Red Cat?" - Ratri. "Uhm...Is coming over...tonight...I mean..." - Ratri.
• "Je suis your Mom!" - Chadius.
• "I need an alarm clock to tell me when to go to sleep." - Ratri. "Ring ring ring. You should go to sleep." - Nybble ...at about 1:30 am.
• "Haha, dyke." - Nybble and Nybble-on-the-TOA-recording, in perfect unison.
• "November is a good time to get crabs." - Ratri's sister, Nicole.
• "Every time a kitten masturbates, God dies a little death?" - Ratri
• "Voulez vous chanter un setlist avec moi?" - Nybble, thrusting with a plastic guitar.
• "Imagine a Dalek garbage can. Exterminate!" - Aurora. "They're going to be pissed when they invade." - Chadius
• "I did that to Jenmv's mom at one point." - Benmv
• "I don't really need the cash--I've already got my wolf shirt." - Nybble.
• Nybble walks in on Ratri and starts laughing. "What? I thought it would fit!" - Ratri
• "Similar amount of information, but with better error checking. ECCDNA!" - Morrigu, on the efficiency of elven cellular reproduction.
• "Ellowyn could always go the lich route." - Aurora. "Thanks, I'll keep my penis." - Ratri.
• "Ha! I've got live data going into my new back end! ...That sounded kind of dirty."-Nybble
• "It's like drinking a 53 proof waffle." -Antwerp
• "You realize the only reason this works is because I have a probe shoved in it." - Nybble
• "Food poisoning for everyone!" - Shallowmore "Yay!!" - Everyone (After announcing cooking cookie dough instead of eating it)
• "Let's see YOU try to put it in when it's hanging a foot over the wrong side!" - Nybble
• "Clue doesn't grow in vaginas. Not even elven ones." - Ratri
• "If morals were tuna, I just got slapped in the face with a fish" - Ratri
• "Milano, Geneva, a jedi craves not these things." -KT
• "You killed the bigass fish." - Aurora "Yes, because I'm awesome." - Nybble
• "He kinda put the 'cock' in 'cocky'." - Ratri
• "You just stick your shaft in the hole instead." - Nybble (Everyone in the room goes silent and stares at Nybble.) "What?!" - Nybble
• "You really haven't lived until you've fried butter in bacon fat. It's just one of those things." - Ratri