View source for Hub2 Ember: Adventure Journal

===Thursday, May 30, 48670===
I guess I can take some comfort in the fact that the spell is, technically, called "Hold Person" -- thus implying that despite someone's judgement that it should be used on me, they're still admitting, deep down, that I'm a person. Who am I kidding? That's not much comfort. Maybe I should have a bumper sticker made for Mara's hood. "FAERIE ON BOARD" might work. Or..."BEWARE OF WATCH-FAERIE"? That might send the wrong impression. "THIS ISN'T THE FAERIE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR"? "FAERIES ARE PEOPLE TOO!" Except, we already established that technically, they know that. Maybe Mara can think of something better. Perhaps "DETECT BEFORE YOU LEAP" would be more instructive.

I know I should be thankful she didn't choose a spell that was more...offensive. And that it didn't work. But I'm just not good enough to be like that yet. Every day I see that scar on my arm, my leg, they sting all over again. But now I can't just be angry. Now I feel bad -- like it's my fault, like I shouldn't make people so angry, like I'm the one who did something wrong. Like I'm the one who should be better. Having a conscience is hard work. I thought it might be hardest at the bottom, but it just gets harder as I climb. It will be worth it some day, Oak. Love you.

===Sunday, June 3, 48670===
Told a fortune today. The guy in the corner of The Dead Duck. I don't know why I offered. I haven't done a free one for a long time. Something about him felt like a little tug of kinship of some kind. So I asked, and he agreed. He threw a lot of dark runes, dark for people and shiny for coin. Money is so new to me, it's still striking to find anyone with that much gold and riches. But there is always a price, right? He's the kind who would not talk about such things, but...Isa, Berkano, so many darkened runes tell that he has, perhaps, paid the price in his relationships with others. He's a dark creature, whatever kind of man he is. My kind of dark. Why did I go? It was all I could think of. We have to find out who is after us. Please don't see me there, Oak. It's not my fault. Which moments of my life do you live? I imagine I must only see the best of you. All the gods in this life cannot help me if you only see the worst of me.

===Thursday, June 7, 48670===
I think I just met someone famous. Apparently, these woods we travelled through to get to the Temple of Eternal Night is rumored to be the home of the original Bronze dragon. So I'm flying above and scouting and suddenly half the party bolts...and then this guy I can't see says "Oops, sorry." It was totally dragonfear. I mean, he didn't identify himself, but you have to wonder. I apologized, just in case. It's good to be nice to powerful people.

===Friday June 8, 48670===
It has been a long time since I bathed in the presence of others, let alone under the watchful eye of a temple and deity. I think everyone else was either distracted by the temple or too embarrassed to look anyway. I'm not sure whether my uncomfortableness stems just from showing more of myself when I'd prefer to show less, or if it's still that nagging reminder every time someone new sees my oldest scars. Time has not dulled that moment. Rather, every reminder brings back each of those moments since -- like the priestess, most recently. This place can cleanse my body, but there are parts of my soul it will not wash clean.

===Tuesday June 19, 48670===
Another dream. Bright light through crystal shards, a faerie-sized home, the warm feeling of seeing a friend. I am glad she has those feelings, but it's always so hard to wake up. It has been a while since I saw her face. That always hits me harder. I know Mara means well when she asks me about stuff, but talking about it never makes it easier. At least I have a friend now too.

And then we arrived in the town of farmers. I'm so afraid to let anyone see me. At least when Mara told Nib not to be afraid, he listened to her. He seems to be okay with me. It sounds like I'll mostly be snooping outside of town anyway. Maybe I won't even have to see a farmer. The most wonderful thing about my dreams is having a break from that fear. I know your life is not easy, Oak, but I am eternally grateful this is one pain you do not have to suffer.

===Tuesday June 26, 48670===
One hundred and one years. They look like a handful of glitter dancing on the wind...whirling by in a blur, with bright spots and dark spots and not much in between. Being out away from the people and away from the town is nice though. I found an adorable boa to snuggle and picked fresh fruit. I smelled the air and the earth and slept under the open sky. Tents are useful when we travel, but every now and then, I need this freedom. And I can see why people out here might tend to worship darkness and night. But tonight, the stars are beautiful and I do not have to convince anyone else of who I am or who I wish to be. Happy birthday, Oak.

===Monday July 16, 48670===
Vitra and I had an interesting meeting today. We thought we were going to see some middling priest of Ramver about some research, but instead we found the top 5 members of The Council. They talked to Vitra for a little while and gave her a bit list of things to look for. I'm sure at least some of them could see me sitting there, but no one tried to talk to me. I didn't really know what to do. There were a lot of unspoken things in that room, tensions and questions that cannot be answered. What would you think if you saw that? Do you even see me, when I'm hiding from everyone else? Somehow, I imagine we would always be able to see each other.

===Monday August 14, 48670===
Another day, another dream -- but this one was different. When I dream, I see what Oak sees. This time, she was talking to me. More than ever, I feel like if I told someone, they'd say it was "just a dream" or wishful thinking. But I don't believe that. It's her. It's really her. Why would she be looking for me? Why would she even want to meet me? I suppose I always assumed that if she knew about me, if she had the same dreams, she saw the bad things I do. She saw me spend so many years truly hurting people, saw how everyone who can see me reacts. I assumed she saw what I see in the mirror. "We'll find each other in the middle somewhere." My sister is so smart. More than ever, I need to find her. First, I need to learn how she spoke to me, and how to help her do that. How to be strong enough that I can talk to her as well.

I need help. But now that I am caught up in something so big, with gods and artifacts and traveling the world...who can I trust? I'm not sure I can trust anyone. I may need to do this on my own. No -- with my sister. With just the help of my sister. I have waited a long time to write those words.

===Sunday August 20, 48670===
Poor Mara. She had to witness, too late to help, seeing someone she's obviously close to sacrifice himself to take the life of her high priestess. He used some special dagger that he asked Astera to bring back to the temple of Ramver in Skryfe. What a burden to bear. I've carried difficult things in my heart before, but this is so much bigger than any of us. I hope Mara is OK. I hope Astera is OK. I hope the Hub is OK.

===Thursday September 1, 48670===
I met a god today. The temple was glowing, and when we walked inside, there was Ramver, standing at his own altar. It was both overwhelming and not, at the same time. I should be totally cowed by a power like that...I don't understand. But he spoke to Astera, including giving her a message from Pussich himself that she was doing a good job. Her family must be so proud. All that family -- so many brothers and sisters. Parents. I can't even imagine.

===Monday October 3, 48670===
I'm at a loss for words. I can't even process what I saw yet. But I watched the whole thing, because I needed to know someone was there to witness it. Something went wrong, during the ritual. Swirling portals to the abyss and the celestial plane. A giant balrog. And astral diva. I actually touched her -- the diva. With my touch of destiny, on the way by. I can only hope she prevails. I tried to tell the guard. I tried to tell the mage guild. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. They practically leveled the city. I'm not sure why I thought it was so important to watch the whole thing, but that experience is now a part of who I am, and who I will be some day.

===Thursday October 6, 48670===
Rebuilding is hard, especially when the world is going just a little bit haywire. I tried to help, I found some blankets and food at least. Then it stormed a bit, and then it started raining tiny giraffes. I caught one, as he fell. We ate lettuce together and played hide and seek, except we somehow always knew where the other one was. We got lost anyway and then I picked him up and flew home. He liked to lean his head down on my shoulder when I carried him. All the other tiny giraffes disappeared, but somehow, Figgy was still there.

===Friday October 7, 48670===
Well, it's official. I went to the mage guild to update my registration. His full name is listed as Finnegan. He's one of a kind. Just like me.

===Monday October 10, 48670===
Mara got her mantis back today, with the recording of the ritual. From what we could see, a solar angel and a huge balor came through. That explains the extent of the destruction. Watching it brought back the whole scene. I think I'll be seeing that for a while. Oh no. Oak, I really hope you didn't have to watch any of that with me.

===Sunday October 16, 48670===
Met another new person today. Her name is Rena. She got teleported into the same warehouse we did. I guess it was a good thing, because the chaos monsters had almost killed Astera a few times. I just wanted to go pick some apples. Instead, chaos beasts and dealing with a new person giving me the same old look. Oak, I'm tired.

At least I still got my apples later.

===Tuesday October 18, 48670===
A giant book of demons. Weird null magic from the void. A bone devil forging us a letter with a bone quill. Regular conversations with the High Priest of Ramver. A giant FLOATING STOMACH with nasty sharp teeth. A void bomb.

We were heading outside, but Maggie was still in there when it...happened. I don't even know who to thank anymore, but Manny was able to heal her in time. I've never had friends like this. It was scary to come that close to losing someone.

===Sunday October 23, 48670===
Mara is dead. Astera's little brother is dead. Manny just dropped dead in the middle of a sentence. He got better a half hour later. Some people are dead for a few minutes. Some people have been dead all day. I know these weird things have been happening, and I know most of them wear off the next day. But it's hard to see so many lifeless people around just waiting. I think the Hub must be hurting. Something is broken. Are we making it better? Or are we making it worse?

===Wednesday October 26, 48670===
I met an archmage today. I never thought I would meet an archmage. I wish you could've been here, Oak. She even set a place at the table for me. She knows so much about so many things. How did I get from sleeping, hungry, in a tree to a four-course dessert with an archmage? Things move so fast sometimes, but I still feel like I'll never find you.

===Friday November 4, 48670===
We fought a bunch of void undead and found a box that unfolds into a boat that sails through the sky. I really can't believe I wrote that sentence. I think that's all for today.